(More information about the Edwardian Dinner Party -- continued)
Serving and Withdrawing
It used to be that one always served from the left and cleared from the right. This was true when food was served from trays or dishes. In a fine household, if a prospective maid stacked dishes when clearing a table, as opposed to removing each diner’s dishes and silver individually, she was not considered suitable for hiring.
Today, however, since food is generally served already on the plate, the custom is to serve everything from the right except for side dishes that go on the left. Similarly, dishes are now withdrawn from the right. Guests may expect all this, or not.
What may work better is to serve and withdraw on that side the diner is facing away from while conversing with the diner on the opposite side. That way there is no interruption of the conversation. One must be on the lookout for a sudden shift in the seat, however. The same holds for withdrawing.
The Niceties of “Withdrawing” When a Course Is Finished
Ideally, diners will have indicated that they have finished a course by placing the silverware on a plate at 4:00 o’clock, so to speak, or in the saucer next to the bowl, forks and spoons upside-down. The 4:00 o’clock pattern rarely happens, so the host needs to monitor progress. As to stacking or withdrawing, in elegant dinner settings, diners expect to have the dishes removed after each course. They will take their cue from the hosts if the hosts are the servers as to how it will be done.
Ideally there are two “servers” (in our case, the hosts) to withdraw, one to remove and the other to hold the plates as they are stacked. This may not be possible, however. Diners thus may assume that the hosts will stack and also help by offering their plates. Stacking is not attractive, however, since it places one diner’s uneaten messy plate in front of others. Small stacks quickly removed are therefore better.
A diner may not have put the used silverware on the plate to be removed. One can simply say, when removing the dish for the course, to say, “Would you want to put your [fork] [spoon] on the plate for me?” which also cues them to use a new piece.
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