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(More information about the Edwardian Dinner Party -- continued)
The Hostess Gift
Today, as in times past, if one cannot entertain the host or hosts at dinner in return for their invitation, it is considered good etiquette to bring a “gift for the hostess.” Wine, flowers, and fine chocolates were considered appropriate hostess gifts by guests in times past. In Victorian and Edwardian English society this was especially true for an eligible bachelor, who presumably did not have the room, the wherewithal, or the hostess necessary for entertaining but was often invited to complete an even number of ladies and gentlemen. A bachelor who had just returned from the Middle East, Asia, or Africa with interesting stories to tell was an especially prized guest. “He could dine out for weeks on those stories.”
In times past, guests did not bring their own wine to drink. Wine for all courses was supplied by the hostess. Today guests frequently bring their own wine, particularly if they are invited to do so, as in our case.
Today also, many (perhaps most) guests do not seem aware of the hostess gift custom and assume that the dinner is a gift---probably because the older tradition has not been passed down during the decades of rapid change in the mid-20th Century.
Gift of Chocolates
 
Guests really should bring a hostess gift if they cannot, or plan not to, invite the hosts to dinner in return. Wine, flowers, and fine chocolates roughly approaching the value to the food eaten are still appropriate. Also much appreciated are delicious food for tomorrow’s breakfast or lunch or a book or other small gift the guests know the hosts will appreciate. If wine is brought to drink, wine as a hostess gift should be in addition.
Society works best when it runs on good manners, reciprocity, and consideration for others.

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Dress
Edwardian dinners in the reign of King Edward VII were, of course, very formal. Ladies wore long formal dresses and jewels in their hair as well as around their necks and on their bosoms and wrists. Men wore formal attire with white tie---the most formal possible. Even the servants wore formal attire. In those days, members of the aristocracy had maids and valets to take care of their clothes and help them dress. Those days pretty much ended for all but the very rich after World War I, when labor was in short supply and those who would have been servants preferred better jobs.
Dress today has become quite informal. White tie, tiaras, black tie, or long dresses are not required! (We have seen diamonds in the hair, however.) Dress styles in Maine are generally relaxed and comfortable. Jackets and ties are much less common, even at church. I discovered early on that one can wear LL Bean virtually anywhere, even to the symphony in Portland in winter.
Since Tony and I are both hosts and serving staff, however, we wear formal white shirts and black bow ties. I laugh and say that the guests have to be able to tell the staff apart! Generally folks wear nice dresses, nice blouse and skirt outfits, nice shirts, and nice slacks---sometimes with a sport coat and tie. Shirts hanging out or blue jeans get noticed. “Casual” is inappropriate when the hosts have set a formal table and prepared and serve a seven-course meal!
The Table
One long table works best, since smaller tables limit the number of people who can talk with each other. At one long table, it is possible to have a single conversation involving five or more people. This may mean putting two tables end to end, depending on the number of guests, but that is not a problem since the tables can be covered with two matching cloths over protective pads. Chairs need not match, but they should be paired in some symmetrical way. No one objects to sitting on a thickly padded metal folding chair.
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